the Mayor, Big Dirt.
True story about Kelch:
The first time I ever went to SF ('95-ish), I was sitting in a restaurant with my brother having dinner when I saw him walk in. It was a Friday night and the place was packed but I swear I saw a busted-lookin' Dirt just coast right past a line full of people, kiss the hostess on the cheek and give the bartender a pound before disappearing into the kitchen. He quickly re-emerged with a big to-go box full of food that i know he didn't pay for and breezed on out the door with a big grin on his face.
The whole ballet only took about 5 minutes but I swear it was straight out of Goodfellas. I was waiting for him to tip the bartender for just keeping the ice cubes cold. Anyway, on the way out, I couldn't help myself and confirmed with that hostess that it was indeed Kelch. When I asked her if he happened to work there (cause it was just too smooth), she said "No... I don't know what he does. He's just James."